I really like the English school system, really. And uniforms are a fantastic thing, we don’t waste time in the morning with two girls, including a pre teen to decide what to wear for hours, we just spend 27 minutes to choose between socks and tight. I am sure all the mums in France are completely jealous. So, why on earth do primary school teachers insist on costumes all the time? They hate parents, and they are trying to get revenge on us for having to teach ours kids, right?
In just three weeks, I had a letter about superheroes costumes for the children in need coffee morning at school. And one about a Tudor costume for PrincesseChipie. While PrincesseDiva has to go to school dressed as an Ancient Greek…and I cannot just throw an old sheet over her, oh no! SuperMum has already explained that she does not think it is very proper to let the standard of costume designs slip as low as last year…I was not there, but apparently some Victorian costumes weren’t even homemade, imagine the horror! How do children will ever learn, with irresponsible parents like that, aargh! Thankfully SuperMum is saving us from this abomination…I hate making costumes, I cannot make costumes, I would rather eat a Victorian apron that make one for my children. I do not find any joy in sewing a Greek toga, and I don’t care what SuperMum and her fans think about it. But my daughters do. And I do care about them. So here we go again.
I have to make Tudor clothes for next week, last time I tried to fashion a Tudor hat for L’Ado when he was still in primary school, he ended up looking like a giant mushroom. The school gave us instruction too, probably to pacify SuperMum, how nice. Let’s see: “take an ordinary triangle bandage” WTF? What is an ordinary triangle bandage? See, I thought I was completely integrated in this country, and I don’t have an ordinary triangle bandage, when apparently, all English households should. It’s small things like that that can drive you to depression…I am not over dramatic at all. Ok what else? A shawl: “an old curtain pinned at the neck with a broach” I am not being difficult on purpose here (not really) but we have just moved, I don’t have an old curtain. And generally speaking, I tend to have nice curtains that I like and I do not want to wrapped them around my children’s neck. I think they go much better in the vicinity of the window, or somewhere like that. She would also have a long dress, “perhaps belonging to mum”. Are you kidding me? I have nice clothes (like my curtains, but they don’t look the same at all, I am not a Royal) I don’t want my daughter to ruin them! There is an alternative, the dress could be “brought form a charity shop”. That’s a good idea. I should go back to the charity shop to buy the old dresses I gave them when we moved, it’s for a school project, it must be educational…
If I survive the Tudor disaster, I still have to get away with a Greek toga who would probably end up looking like a curtain too and the superheros outfits, with a cape (maybe I can reuse the toga? Or the Tudor mushroom? )…I am dreading the Christmas play!